Don’t Write Yourself Off Without Giving Yourself a Chance

Don’t Write Yourself Off Without Giving Yourself a Chance

Twas early Friday morning, a couple of hours from the noon, while waiting for the commencement of a program my phone rang. Immediately, I saw the caller a smile came to my lips. It’s my girl. Hello, Assalaamu ‘alaikum and we exchanged greetings. Next thing I heard Moshood we need to talk. It sounded serious and I knew she really needed me at the moment. Of course I wouldn’t deny her my attention. So I walked out of the event hall to find a cool place to talk to my padi. What’s up sis? I asked. I need your opinion on something (or something similar), she said.

I’m going for my masters in the UK and I need your opinion on the course. What course, I asked. XYZ course, she answered. That’s not really related to what we did in school, I noted, and she replied in the affirmative. But do you think it’s a good course, do you think I can do it? Do you think I have what it takes? What do you think? She asked. Maybe I should give you the course link and help me check it out. Go through it and see if it’s a cool course to study and let me know what you think. I agreed.

I immediately went through the course details, structure and all. Well, seems tight but then I know my girl can do and achieve anything she puts her mind to. After all, nothing is impossible to achieve, especially to the willing heart. Afterwards, I called her back.

Well, the course is not bad but seems a bit tight and you might have to work extra hard because it’s not what we had our background in. it’s really a good course. I know right, she said. But do you think I can do it? Do you think I have what it takes? She kept asking for assurances and reassurances and if I believe in her, and I had to make her know that nothing in impossible and if she does the necessary things she will excel and have a success story. You just have to believe in yourself and give yourself a chance. I assured her she can do it and she should go ahead with it and work hard in the presence. She showed her gratitude and the conversation turned to personal gist.

Two years later, after completion of her program. I chatted her up and sent a voice note asking her how she felt after completing the program and if she was glad she did. What she now thinks of her capabilities and abilities, and if she was glad she faced her fears. She said

“Looool now I think I can do anything. Anything I actually want to do. Yessssss! I absolutely made a right choice facing my fears.”

In life there comes a time when you have to make that tough decision or take that huge step. It could be career wise or a life-changing act. Though, It is most times always tough to indulge oneself or undergo a process one has never gone through and most often you find yourself asking if you can do it, if you have what it takes, if you won’t end up (negatively) regretting (your actions/decision), if what you are about doing is even worth it in the first place and how you should just remain contented and remain where you are.

Often times, unfortunately, the conclusion you find people reaching is – I can’t do this, I don’t have what it takes, I’m not smart enough for this, I don’t have the capacity; and thus they give up without even a trial…..and this is the biggest mistake most of us make – giving up on what we desire without ever taking a shot, at least, to realize it.

Most of us fail to understand that there’s is nothing the brain cannot comprehend, and there’s nothing impossible to achieve to a willing heart if it sets out to, doing all that is required and exerting all necessary efforts. Except, of course, the Almighty says otherwise. However, with prayers – after taking all the necessary actions – all things are possible.

We should, however, bear in mind that we will not be successful in everything we delve into. That should not discourage us, failure itself is an ever-rich experience that serves as a guide and mentor. I once read an interview by Dangote where he stated that the first business he went into was textiles and ceramics, but the business never grew as expected, especially because of smuggling. So he quit and went into cement, and I’m sure we all know the end result today.

The truth is that at times we might think a particular thing is good for us, whereas it’s not, and vice-versa. Therefore, that you didn’t excel at a particular thing does not mean you won’t excel in another. Don’t let the fear of failure or a past experience stop us from achieving your dreams.

So whatever it is that scares you and feel like a daunting task, whatever it is that you’re afraid of because you believe you don’t have what it takes, face it head-on, give it a trial, do all that’s necessary and say some prayers.

Why Did I write This?

According to Tim Lahaye, a negative thinking pattern or defeatist complex will cause a person to be fearful of attempting any new thing. The moment we start suggesting to ourselves “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t,” we are almost certain of failure. Our mental attitude makes even ordinary task difficult to perform when we approach them with a negative thought. Repeated failures or refusal to do what our contemporaries are able to accomplish often causes further breakdown in self-confidence and increases fear. Therefore, one should never be dominated by a negative habit.

Also, one should never underestimate the power of any habit to intensify any negative force, particularly an emotion such as fear. Anything you do frequently becomes easier to do the next time. A fearful person creates a deeply ingrained habit of responding to every difficult or different circumstance in life with fear. It becomes what psychologists call “a conditioned response”. Each time a certain condition occurs, he becomes fearful. Such conditioning can make people lifetime servants of fear unless they learn to overcome it or allow themselves to be used by the Supreme Being to empower them so that fear does not rule them for life.

Once a link in the fear chain is broken, it is easier to break it again, and so on until the “conditioned response” is broken completely and a new habit is begun, the facing of that fear increases one’s faith to try overcoming others, and a new life cycle based on faith can begin. End.

A lot of people have had to watch their dreams go down the drain simply because of fear or they don’t believe in themselves, they never believed they had what it takes to fulfill those dreams and make a difference, and it’s sad. Everyone deserves to have a dream and see to it that it comes true and alive

So I want to take this time out and encourage such people to take that step and take that path they’ve always wanted to, study that course they so much desired to, and take that risk they’ve so much hesitated on.

It is said, you don’t know how strong you are until being strong is the only option you have. Likewise, you don’t know what you are capable of achieving until you set out and make an attempt to achieve it.

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